Richard
“The project has really opened up my eyes to looking at things in a different way.”
Click each photo or scroll down to read Richard’s story
I was at my worst in this building but it was also the beginning of my recovery journey. I still remember the day I walked out that front door, literally turning in circles. Wanting to get high again but I didn't want to go hustle the money. I never kept my place clean. I never kept myself clean. I was in terrible state. And I finally made that decision, "You got to stop this or you're going to kill yourself.” I didn't want to be remembered for that. I want to be remembered for the work I’m doing now.
Wherever I've lived, I never felt at home. Probably because I was still using. But ever since I cleaned up 11 or 12 years ago, I've lived in this neighbourhood. Zawa, the restaurant, is a sense of community for me. I've gotten to know the owner. I know all the waitresses. So, it feels comfortable and warm. Everybody should have that kind of place, where you feel safe and wanted, and missed if you don't show up. It's nice to be liked and welcomed where ever you go. It shows that you're living a good life.
For the last two or three years I was using, I didn't even look in the mirror because I didn't like what was looking back. Now, I can look in the mirror with self-affirmations: “All right Rick, you're getting there. You might not be the most handsome man in the world but you're living a good life." That's been my journey and it's been wonderful. I've learned so much.
DUDES Club has brought me a lot of purpose and a lot of pride. Sometimes walking down the street, I feel like I'm a ghost. A lot of men in the Downtown Eastside feel that their voices aren't being heard. DUDES Club supports men so they can be noticed in life and know that their voice is important and means something. Look at all these guys, they all got white beards, they’ve lived their lives and they're resilient.
That big smiling chicken brings a smile to everybody's face. Humor is everything. Being an outreach worker is all about making your client feel good. When I see a client in a bad mood, I try to make him laugh. Because I've learned, even when you're having a shitty day, if somebody can make you laugh, you forget about all the tough times you're having. A nice, big belly laugh, you know?
This is what scares the shit out of me. Cancer. It's something I have no control over. I've been a smoker all my life and I'm still healthy. But every time I pick up a cigarette I think, "Is this going to be the last one?" Before you know it, you got nodules on your lungs and you get full blown cancer. That's the craziest shit ever.